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Teen Wolf Actor Charlie Carver Comes Out as Gay

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In a heartwarming series of personal posts on Instagram, the actor shares his coming-out process.

“I now believe that by omitting this part of myself from the record, I am complicit in perpetuating the suffering, fear, and shame cast upon so many in the world. In my silence, I’ve helped decide for to you too that to be gay is to be, as a young man (or young woman, young anyone), inappropriate for a professional career in the Arts,” Carver wrote on Instagram. “So now, let the record show this — I self-identify as gay. And does that really matter anymore? As a young man, I needed a young man in Hollywood to say that — and without being a dick about it, I owe it to myself, more than anything, to be who I needed when I was younger.”

Best known for his roles in Desperate Housewives and Teen Wolf, the 27-year-old also opened up about his coming-out process and his previous fear that publicly acknowledging his sexuality would have a negative effect on his career.

“As an actor, I believed that my responsibility to the craft and the business was to remain benevolently neutral — I was a canvas, a chameleon, the next character,” he wrote. “For the most part I had a duty to stay a Possibility in the eye of casting, directors, and the public. If I Came Out, I feared I would be limiting myself to a type, to a perception with limits that I was not professionally comfortable with. And I created in my imagination an Industry that was just as rigid in this belief as well.”

However, Carver said he believes the idea that actors should remain closeted is a thing of the past and is inspired by the changing landscape for the LGBT population.

“Things in this business have changed and will continue to. Thank GOD. I know that because of all of the brave men and women who’ve come out, self-identified, or couldn’t have possibly ever been ‘in,’” Carver wrote. “I get fucking MOVED every time I hear a high school voted in their transgender classmate as Prom King or Prom Queen, or when I see Twitter afire with outrage over mistreatment, brutality, and injustice.”

He added, “I long for the world to be simple, for everyone to feel happy and safe in who they are as individuals and members of a community. I can only hope that the beginning of this unrest is productive, something our generation(s) is moving through in order to end up someplace better.”

Carver also pointed out that his twin brother and fellow actor, Max Carver, “is just as cool for being straight.”

RELATED: Why It Still Matters When Celebs Come Out

Read his full heartwarming five-part post below.

Pt 1: “Be who you needed [when you] were younger”. About a year ago, I saw this photo while casually scrolling through my Instagram one morning. I’m not one for inspirational quotes, particularly ones attributed to “Mx Anonymous”- something mean in me rebukes the pithiness of proverbs, choosing to judge them as trite instead of possibly-generally-wise, resonant, or helpful. And in the case of the good ol’ Anonymous kind, I felt that there was something to be said for the missing context. Who wrote or said the damn words? Why? And to/for who in particular?
Nonetheless, I screen-capped the picture and saved it. It struck me for some reason, finding itself likeable enough to join the ranks of the “favorites” album on my phone. I’d see it there almost daily, a small version of it next to my other “favorites”; I’d see it every time I checked into the gym, pulled up a picture of my insurance cards, my driver’s license…. Important Documents. And over the course of about-a-year, it became clear why the inspirational photo had called out to me.
As a young boy, I knew I wanted to be an actor. I knew I wanted to be a lot of things! I thought I wanted to be a painter, a soccer player, a stegosaurus… But the acting thing stuck. It was around that age that I also knew, however abstractly, that I was different from some of the other boys in my grade.

Over time, this abstract “knowing” grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: “I am gay”. I said them to myself at first, to see how they felt. They rang true, and I hated myself for them. I was twelve. It would take me a few years before I could repeat them to anyone else, in the meantime turning the phrase over and over in my mouth until I felt comfortable and sure enough to let the words pour out again, this time to my family…

Pt 2: For anyone who can identify with that experience (and I think we all can to some degree; saying something from a place of integrity, owning and declaring oneself), the immediate and comingling sense of relief and dread might sound familiar to you. For me, and my family, it was a precious conversation, one where I felt that I’d begun to claim myself, my life, and what felt like the beginning of a very-adult-notion of my own Authenticity. For that, and for them, I am forever grateful. *Note “Coming Out” is different for everyone. You can always Come Out to yourself. Coming Out as Gay/Bi/Trans/Non-Binary/Yourself or What-Have-You is at first a personal and private experience. If you’re ready and feel safe, then think about sharing this part of yourself with others. I recognize that I was born with an immense amount of privilege, growing up in a family where my orientation was celebrated and SAFE. If you feel like you want to Come Out, make sure first and foremost that you have a support system and will be safe. I would never encourage anyone to Come Out only to find themselves in harm’s way – a disproportionate number of Homeless American (and Global) Youth are members of the LGBTQ community who were kicked out of their families and homes out of hate and prejudice. It is a major issue in-and-of itself, and a situation not worth putting oneself at risk for.
The more I adjusted to living outwardly in this truth, the better I felt. But my relationship to my sexuality soon became more complicated. The acting thing HAD stuck, and at nineteen I started working in Hollywood. It was a dream come true, one I had been striving for since boyhood. But coupled with the overwhelming sense of excitement was an equally overwhelming feeling of dread- I would “have to” bisect myself into two halves, a public and private persona, the former vigilantly monitored, censored, and sterilized of anything that could reveal how I self-identified in the latter.
I had my reasons, some sound and some nonsensical. I do believe in a distinction between one’s professional life and their private one…

Pt 3: After the first episode of television I shot went to air, it became clear to me that I was at least no longer anonymous. For the first time, I found myself stopped on the street, asked to take a picture by a complete stranger – part of the job I had willingly signed up for.
Fame, to whatever degree, is a tricky creature. In this day and age, particularly with the access offered by social media, it demands that you be On, that you be Yourself, Always, in your work and to your fans. In this way, the distinction between public and private has become blurry, begging questions like “to what extent do I share myself? Do what extent do I have to?” When it came to this differentiation of public/private, I was of the opinion that my sexuality could stay off the table. While my Coming Out was very important for me, I wanted to believe in a world where one’s sexuality was for the most part irrelevant. That it didn’t “matter,” or that at least it was something that didn’t need to or ideally shouldn’t ever have to be announced to a stranger, a new colleague, an interviewer. Even the words “Coming Out” bothered me. I took issue with them insofar as that “Coming Out” implied being greeted with attention, attention for something I would prefer to be implicitly just Human, an attribute or adjective that was only part of how I saw my whole self. I did not want to be defined by my sexuality. Sure, I am a proud gay man, but I don’t identify as a Gay man, or a GAY man, or just gay. I identify as a lot of things, these various identifications and identities taking up equal space and making up an ever-fluid sense of Self.
Furthermore, as an actor, I believed that my responsibility to the craft and the business was to remain benevolently neutral – I was a canvas, a chameleon, the next character. For the most part I had a duty to stay a Possibility in the eye of casting, directors, and the public. If I Came Out, I feared I would be limiting myself to a type, to a perception with limits that I was not professionally comfortable with. And I created in my imagination an Industry that was just as rigid in this belief as well.

Pt 4: After having the privilege of playing a range of characters, gay, straight and otherwise, I realize this is not the case. Things in this business have changed and will continue to. Thank GOD. I know that because of all of the brave men and women who’ve come out, self-identified, or couldn’t have possibly ever been “In”. So to them, I am also forever grateful.
But then I saw that little photo on Instagram. Well, in truth, it had found me long after I’d made up my mind to write something like this. There were so many drafts and plans, none of them ever getting off the ground. So I bided my time, justifying the silence with the fact that I hadn’t really ever been “in”. I tried to live as authentically as I’ve known how to, as a gay guy, since that concept became available to me, only once or twice intentionally dodging the ever ill-timed question with the subtext that might have as well read “ARE YOU GAY???” I’ve lived “out,” not feeling the need to announce so. I was comfortably out in my private life. And for a time, that was enough.

Things change. There’s a lot about the Now that I’m very excited about these days. I feel like more and more people, particularly young people, are striving to create a safe world for each other. We’re learning new vocabularies to help others feel heard when they try and articulate their perceived “otherness”- words like cis- and trans-, non-binary, fluid… We’re together exploring the possibilities of the Social Media Frontier, experimenting with new ways to connect, galvanize, and awaken. I get fucking MOVED every time I hear a high school voted in their transgender classmate as Prom King or Prom Queen, or when I see Twitter afire with outrage over mistreatment, brutality, and injustice. But I also mourn over what feels like a lot of anger and righteous indignance. I long for the world to be simple, for everyone to feel happy and safe in who they are as individuals and members of a community. I can only hope that the beginning of this unrest is productive, something our generation(s) is moving through in order to end up someplace better.

Pt 5: But what can I do? How can I participate? Honesty is probably a great step in the right direction. I now believe that by omitting this part of myself from the record, I am complicit in perpetuating the suffering, fear, and shame cast upon so many in the world. In my silence, I’ve helped decide for to you too that to be gay is to be, as a young man (or young woman, young anyone), inappropriate for a professional career in the Arts (WHAAA???) So now, let the record show this- I self-identify as gay. And does that really matter anymore? As a young man, I needed a young man in Hollywood to say that- and without being a dick about it, I owe it to myself, more than anything, to be who I needed when I was younger.
Happy 2016, and all my best to you and yours in the year ahead.
And let the record show my twin brother is just as cool for being straight

Country Star Ty Herndon: 'I'm an Out, Proud and Happy Gay Man'

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11/20/2014

ty-herndon-600Five years ago, country singer Ty Herndon finally recognized that he had a very important story to share.

“During an Anthony Robbins seminar, I realized I had an incredible story that could possibly help someone’s son or daughter or grandchild’s life not be as difficult as mine has been,” he tells PEOPLE. “Maybe they wouldn’t have to go through as much pain and suffering. It’s time to tell my truth.”

That “truth” is about a part of himself he has kept secret for his entire career: “I’m an out, proud and happy gay man,” the Nashville artist revealed to PEOPLE during a sit-down in New York Tuesday. (Herndon appears on Entertainment Tonight Thursday at 7 p.m. ET, his first TV interview about his journey.)

The revelation was many years in the making for the 52-year-old singer, who first wondered if he was gay when he was about 10 years old and then began coming out to close family members at 20.

“My mother probably knew I was gay before I did. I remember sitting down with her and having the conversation,” recalls Herndon, noting his career path in country worried her. But, ultimately, “she was more concerned about me having a happy life. You have to be able to do that in your own skin, and [my family] has seen me struggle with being gay my whole career.”

Country Star Ty Herndon: 'I'm an Out, Proud and Happy Gay Man'| Country, Chely Wright, Kacey Musgraves, Ty Herndon

Ty Herndon

Valeisha Kelly-Pedigo

Some Early Snags

While his professional start was promising (he was earning steady airplay with hit singles including “What Mattered Most,” “Living in a Moment” and “It Must Be Love”), the singer hit some snags along the way – including an indecent exposure charge for allegedly exposing himself to a police officer in 1995 (the charge was later dropped in a plea bargain) and subsequent time in rehab for drug addiction.

“I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. They’ve been my mistakes, and I own them,” says Herndon, who was married to women twice before coming to terms with his sexuality. (He says both ex-wives knew he was gay.) “I’ve done a lot of work around forgiveness with people that I’ve hurt and people I’ve not been honest with because of my sexuality.”

Herndon’s revelation follows fellow country artist Chely Wright‘s coming out to PEOPLE in 2010.

Longtime Partner

Wright, a close friend of his, played a big part in his coming out – as did his longtime partner, Matt. A mutual friend introduced the couple, and they spoke on the phone for six months before meeting. As a one-year anniversary and Christmas present, Matt brought them to that fateful Anthony Robbins seminar in 2009 that reminded him of his own struggle – and his wish to spare others that pain.

“I was 10, sitting in church and horrified that I might be a homosexual. Whatever that word meant, I knew that I probably was one,” Herndon recalls. “And I know there’s a lot of those kids still out there. Telling my story is an opportunity to help just one of them,” says Herndon.

“They can be loved by God, they can be married one day, they can have a family, they can give their parents grandkids,” Herndon adds. “And they’re not broken, they’re not sinners and they’re perfectly beautiful.”

Both the singer and his partner are practicing Christians, and Herndon says it’s taken time to reconcile his faith with his sexuality. But he’s getting there.

“I sit on the tailgate of my pickup truck, and I meditate, and I talk to God,” he says. “That’s really all I need to know. I have a connection to something bigger than myself, and no one’s going to tell me that I can’t have it. We get to choose who we love, and that includes God, and he loves us back.”

Aside from religion, Herndon has had to redefine his place in another establishment: the country music community. As he sees it, the genre has made great strides, which was again demonstrated when Kacey Musgraves won top honors at the CMAs for her LGBT-approving hit “Follow Your Arrow.”

“There’s never been a song more affirmative of that in country music, and it’s our CMA Song of the year,” says Herndon, who “welled up in tears” during that moment.

“I felt so proud of my city. I hope that trend continues; I pray it does.”

Country Star Ty Herndon: 'I'm an Out, Proud and Happy Gay Man'| Country, Chely Wright, Kacey Musgraves, Ty Herndon

Ty Herndon

Valeisha Kelly-Pedigo

Upcoming Plans

Herndon, who is in the midst of his return to the industry, clearly is part of that trend. Last year, he released the autobiographical Lies I Told Myself and he’s been touring with fellow singers Jamie O’Neal and Andy Griggs. He plans to release a solo album next year.

Though he understands his revelation is a big one, he views it as a beautiful starting point for the next chapter of his life.

“[Being gay] is just an addendum. I’m a gay man, and I’m looking forward to living the rest of my life authentically and happy,” Herndon says.

Now that he’s out, there are a lot of uncertainties ahead, from how fans will react to where his career will go. But “I’m feeling very blessed,” Herndon says.

“I just want to show up for the causes that I believe in. And be able to walk down the street and hold this man’s hand that will be my husband one day, and I know we’ll have kids one day,” he adds.

“I’m still the same person. Fans just know a little more about me now.”

COMING OUT: I FELT LIKE IT WAS SO DIFFERENT TO WHAT I KNEW

GNI LogoDecember 9, 2015

 

 

 

James

James knew he was gay since he was small.  He’s had the usual ups and downs, but this Belfast lad is about to achieve his life-long dream of jetting off with British Airways…

When did you first realise you were gay?

I always knew I was gay. Ever since I was very young I knew I was a little bit different. I didn’t play with Action Men, but my mum was a childminder so I would play with the dolls of any of the little girls she minded. I grew up surrounded by a lot of girls and women, but my best friend who lived next door was a boy.

Tell me about your coming out experience?

I came out to my close friend Stephanie when I was 17. I was on my lunch break with her in school. It felt like I had reached the stage where I needed to tell someone, and I trusted her with my life. It took me a very long time to say “I’m gay,” whenever I talked about it to people I always said “I liked boys,” I never said “I’m gay.”

How did they react when you told them?

I came out to my close friend first of all. I guess she already knew. I came out to the rest of my friends a month later, then my mum about a half a year later. It was the biggest weight of my chest. I was so relieved. I was really emotional, but I wasn’t as emotional as I thought I would be because I guessed she already knew. I was so much happier after coming out. I was like a totally different person. Coming out made me the person I am now. It took a while but I am so much more confident. I’m really glad I did it.

Was coming out a big deal for you or did it feel natural?

It was definitely a big deal. I had a girlfriend when I was very, very young. We kissed, and I did fancy her, but it never felt right. There was a boy in my year who I really fancied when I came out; he was gorgeous, really tall, and really nice arms. He was so sexy, and he had the best smile. That summer we flirted with each other non stop, but it was just banter.

Did you find it difficult to accept you were gay?

Yeah, I did. I felt like it was so different to what I knew. No one else was gay but me and I was scared of their reaction. I knew my friends would be supportive, but I found it really hard to tell my best friend Stephen because we were so close, even though he is straight. Coming out to him was the biggest relief of all. He knew as well so he acted as normal. His family became my second family after that.

How did your family react when they learned you were gay?

I thought my mum would have been fine, and she was, but I knew it would be harder with my dad because we were so close. I love him, and we do get on, and he is really comfortable being around gay people, but I didn’t feel like I could tell him. It’s so much different when it’s personal for you. Mum said she knew I was gay, but she didn’t want to show it. But for dad it was a real shock. It was a really tough couple of months, especially since mum felt stuck in the middle between me and Dad. I didn’t stay in my house a lot, I stayed with my fiends, and I didn’t really socialise with my immediate family during that time. But I was about to start a new job after leaving school and I wanted to be me.

Has anyone’s opinion of you changed since you came out?

No, I honestly feel like my family and friends love me more for being who I truly am than for living in secret. They wouldn’t have wanted me to be in the closet, and I was so miserable right up until I came out.

Did you ever feel the need to seek professional help?

I didn’t feel like I had very much gay support, but since coming out I’ve made so many gay friends that have helped me in so many ways.

Where do you live? How accepting are people there of LGBT people?

I live in North Belfast. I have never once encounteered homophobia in the streets. I’m always really affectionate when I’m on a date. I don’t mind holding hands and kissing in public, and no one has ever said anything to me. But you have to be sensible about these things. I feel comfortable enough being gay in Belfast because….

READ THE REST OF JAMES’ STORY HERE

Reid Ewing, Modern Family Star, is gay

Reid Ewing has confirmed that he is gay in a very nonchalant, matter of fact way, and for those of us involved in politics and normality, that is the way it should be.  Being gay is normal, and it shouldn’t be any more news worthy than being married, being parents, being a brother or sister.

Reid also discussed why he underwent cosmetic surgery, and body dysmorphia during his Twitter discussion, which is where he confirmed that he was gay!

Reid is an actor, and is currently known for his role as Dylan in the hit TV show from ABC ‘Modern Family’  –  the Modern Family Wiki describes Dylan as  warm, a tad dim but sweet and loves his girlfriend a lot.  I will let you judge, but the character is in no way a representation of the real Reid Ewing I believe.

Here are two pics to let you know who he is is, and also a link to a quick search I did in Google for other pics:

 

Reid Ewing-1 Reid Ewing-2

 

Links:

Google search general:

EXCLUSIVE: X-Men's Iceman Confronts Himself: 'You Are Gay'

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xmen

A significant chapter in the history of Marvel’s X-Men comes to a close with the release ofUncanny X-Men #600 Wednesday. The issue marks the end of writer Brian Michael Bedis’s epic saga which features young versions of the original five X-Men (Iceman, Cyclops, Beast, Angel, and Jean Grey) displaced in time and fighting the never-ending battle in present day. In an interesting twist on the history of Marvel’s mutants, young Iceman (a.k.a. Bobby Drake) came out as gay in April’s All-New X-Men #40, raising questions about his older self who presents as heterosexual in the “current” timeline.

In the three-page exclusive preview of Uncanny X-Men #600 below, young Drake confronts his older self about his sexuality, and the truth behind which way the original Iceman swings is finally revealed.

A new era for the X-Men kicks off here and takes flight in the pages of Extraordinary X-Men #1, also available Wednesday.

Thomas Hitzlsperger discusses reports of two gay Premier League players considering coming out

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Thomas Hitzlsperger

Amid reports that two Premier League footballers are considering revealing they are homosexual, Thomas Hitzlsperger, arguably the most high profile former player to have come out as gay, has spoken about the difficulties they may face.

Reports have been circulating that two high-profile players playing in England’s top-flight of football are close to revealing their sexual orientation.

How any such announcement will be received is uncertain, with only a handful of footballers revealing their sexuality and in nearly all cases after their retirement from the game. There is currently just one openly gay professional or semi-professional footballer in Great Britain, non-league player Liam Davis.

Former Aston Villa player Hitzlsperger came out last year andspeaking exclusively to 888sport.com admitted there could be unknown repercussions for any players who follow his decision.

“You have to think of the players first. If they can handle it and if it will improve their lives that’s great,” said Hitzlsperger, who played 52 games for Germany.

“You just hope there is no change in how they look at the game and no disruption to the career they wanted.

“You also have to think of who you can support and help by coming out. A lot of people thanked me for doing so and said I inspired them to come out. That’s a big deal.”

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Thomas Hitzlsperger during a spell at West Ham

Hitzlsperger, who in his interview with 888sport.com spoke about the appointment of Remi Garde at Aston Villa, revealed being openly gay comes with difficulties but he is happy with his decision to be open.

“It’s not just in football, but in society; you are part of a minority, so I don’t think it will ever be a non-issue. But I’m very comfortable in my own skin and I’m comfortable going to games and meeting fans who know I’ve come out. I’m really delighted in how it is going. My life has changed, of course, but for the better.”

 

Read the full and frank interview with Hitzlsperger here.

English footballers and fans will end the stigma around gay players themselves

The Guardian LogoTuesday 27 October 2015

 

 

 

 

 

 

The news that two Premier League players may come out is no longer shocking. But the response they receive will be the true test of football’s tolerance

Robbie Rogers

The LA Galaxy player Robbie Rogers came out in 2013 after leaving Leeds United. Photograph: Danny Moloshok/Reuters

 

[dropcap]L[/dropcap]ast weekend, news broke that two Premier League players may be ready to come out. The story has once again teased us with the prospect that English football could finally be ready to join the 21st century. Yet it’s the way in which the news was covered – a shift from tabloid exposé to Twitter debate – that offers real signs of encouragement.

The Mirror’s headline was designed to shock, yet fell flat; pricked hours later by a breezy tweet from Manchester United’s Luke Shaw denying his involvement. With its peace sign and smily face it was hardly the work of the Westboro Baptist Church, yet some were quick to condemn his simple denial as evidence of entrenched homophobia in players.

Quite the opposite. More likely it’s the long-term lack of faith in both players and fans – surely the two most important groups involved – by governing bodies, pressure groups and the media that has added to the swirling culture of fear within the game. Compare Shaw’s tweet to the FA’s bizarre anti-homophobia filmjust five years ago – they’re worlds apart – mainly because this generation of players simply don’t have the same fear factor when it comes to sexuality. All the campaign films and rainbow laces in the world are no substitute for the carefree potency of youth with 140 characters to spare.

Neither are they a match for the power of player solidarity and self-policing by fans. In years gone by this may have meant a cheeky message under a club shirt in regard to the former, and a stern talking-to on the terraces in the case of the latter. The arrival of Twitter however, amplifies a positive perspective more than ever. Put it this way – if a player came out tomorrow, could you seriously see anything but a flood of supportive tweets from fellow footballers and fans?

Take a look at the comments section under any recent story about footballers coming out. Aside from the odd flash of bigotry one theme keeps returning – boredom. It’s the story that won’t go away, yet the reaction of football fans is not one of hostility, but weariness. Replies such as “Who cares?” and “It’s 2015” suggest a growing anger not directed at the players in question but the debate itself.

Social networking has – as traditional gay bars and nightclubs continue to close – provided a more subtle and nuanced platform for sexuality full stop. Rugby player Sam Stanley quietly featured his boyfriend in a series of Instagram photos before coming out, thus diffusing any drama from the situation. There’s no reason for today’s footballers to suffer the same clunky red-top outings endured by early 2000s boy-band members (often given little choice or notice) when a tweeted pic of a loved one can filter out slowly across social media making the same point. A shift from lurid to lovely.

That’s not to say conditions are perfect. While social media may offer a newfound subtlety and control to the coming-out process, it brings with it a global audience. Perhaps this, more than any other reason, may explain why English football has teetered on the brink for the past 10 years. The old enemy – the English press – was at least a familiar one. The worldwide web offers less cosy adversaries.

Yet if English players do choose to step out on to that global stage they won’t be alone. They’ll be joined by the US’s Robbie Rogers, Sweden’s Anton Hysén and Germany’s Thomas Hitzlsperger (an average age of 28 between them) as well as countless other lower-league players to have come out in the last five years and prospered.

It might be naive to suggest that as with the closeted teenager (and there are definite parallels here for football) the only thing to fear is fear itself, yet those who suggest this new generation of players and fans can’t deal with their colleagues and heroes’ sexuality could perhaps use a reminder.

Link: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/27/english-football-openly-gay-players

Olympic Silver Medalist Gus Kenworthy Comes Out As Gay

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News Editor, The Huffington Post

Hiding everything away is so painful. I’m just at that point where I’m ready to open up and let everyone see me for me and I hope everyone accepts it.”

In this Wednesday, Oct. 21, 2015, photo, Gus Kenworthy, a freestyle skier who won a silver medal in Sochi, poses in his home in Denver. The timing, to say nothing of the country, wasn't quite right to tell the world he was gay. And so Kenworthy left Russia last February better known as the compassionate daredevil who adopted several stray dogs he came across in the mountains _ and as the man who was part of an historic U.S. sweep of the first Olympic ski slopestyle contest. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

In this Wednesday, Oct. 21, 2015, photo, Gus Kenworthy, a freestyle skier who won a silver medal in Sochi, poses in his home in Denver. The timing, to say nothing of the country, wasn’t quite right to tell the world he was gay. And so Kenworthy left Russia last February better known as the compassionate daredevil who adopted several stray dogs he came across in the mountains _ and as the man who was part of an historic U.S. sweep of the first Olympic ski slopestyle contest. (AP Photo/David Zalubowski)

 

Gus Kenworthy-1

 

The tweet accompanied a photo of the athlete on the cover of the latest ESPN Magazine, which is publishing a profile on Kenworthy and the struggle he’s faced in coming out.

That struggle has been especially difficult as a freeskier, Kenworthy told ESPN, a sport he acknowledges glorifies the “alpha male thing” at times. Kenworthy said that in his darkest moments, he even considered taking his own life.

“Hiding everything away is so painful,” he said in a video on ESPN. “You’re constantly lying and constantly feeling like you’re being deceitful. I’m just at that point where I’m ready to open up and let everyone see me for me and I hope everyone accepts it.”

Kenworthy earned a silver medal at the Winter Olympics in Sochi, and then stayed in Russia for an extra month to rescue stray dogs and bring them home to Denver.

Puppy LOve

 

Plenty of athletes voiced their support for Kenworthy following his announcement, including the U.S. Freeskiing team, which tweeted that it was “A huge day in action sports, the and in ​’s life. We stand with him and support him.”

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gus-kenworthy-gay_5629013fe4b0aac0b8fbdc00?ir=Gay%2BVoices&section=gay-voices&ncid=newsltushpmg00000003

How a Gay Dad Comes out Today – and Every Day

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DADS

ONOKY – Eric Audras via Getty Images

“Titanium metal!” my son exclaimed. “Like a fast robot police sports car!”

“Pink!” my daughter excitedly squealed.

“And what do you think?” I asked my husband, as we were shopping for our new car. “You need to like the color, too.”

A salesperson in the showroom, overhearing our conversation, inquired, “Why does your brother need to like the color of the car you’re buying?”

Since coming out over 20 years ago, I’ve realized that coming out is not a one and done thing.

But now, as a gay dad, with a husband and two kids, coming out happens pretty much on a weekly, if not, daily, basis.

This September, my son started playing hockey, and I’m the assistant coach.

During our coaches meeting, many of the coaches in the room mentioned that we hadn’t received an email, inviting use to fill out one of the forms we were reviewing.

The reply?

“Your wives probably filled it out, without you knowing!”

I don’t intentionally come out every day. Or even purposely call myself a gay dad. No big announcements, no celebratory parties, no viral YouTube videos… well, okay…maybe oneor two

Yet, the reality is, I am a proud gay dad, whose family looks a bit different than the majority of families where we live.

Earlier this year, my husband I and were out walking with our kids, and new neighbors came up to introduce themselves.

After a bit of small talk, they then asked, “So… what’s going on here… Full House? — guys raising kids together?”

“Well, kind of, but in this case, we’re husbands,” we replied.

Them: “Husbands?”

Me: “Husbands.”

Them: “Husbands?”

Me: “Yes… husbands.”

Them: “Oh… you’re a same-sex couple! Honey — we have a same-sex couple on our new street!”

I know not every coming out moment is funny and not every coming out moment garners a positive reaction.

I also know that barriers still exist for so many LGBTQ individuals, and that some people still feel that they have to hide this part of their identity.

Personally, I’m inspired by those who have “come out” before me — who were visible on the first National Coming Out Day, 27 years ago, when it wasn’t easy to be heard.

Twenty years ago, the hardest words to ever come out of my mouth were, “I’m gay” — and unfortunately, the reactions weren’t as positive or as humorous as the reactions I get now.

For so many youth the reactions still aren’t favorable.

In fact, it’s estimated that 25-40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBTQ.

It’s one of the reasons why I want to live my life so transparent and so visible.

I know that I don’t have to come out in those every day moments but I do feel a responsibility to be visible and to be out.

I want to be a role model for those who aspire to be out, but don’t think they can.

I want to change perception of what families look like, and inspire those who think that by coming out, they have to give up their dream of being a parent.

I want to help LGBTQ youth so that they feel they can live their authentic lives.

One of the best notes I have ever received about one of my blog posts, was from a mother, whose son was having a hard time coming out. He was afraid of being rejected and he thought that by coming out, he would have to give up his dream of being a dad. After reading my post, her son had the courage to come out and to live his authentic life. This woman’s letter was so heartfelt, and showed me how important it is to be visible — because you never know who is going to be helped by your story.

I recognize how fortunate I am. I can be a dad to two incredible kids, a husband, a professional in business world, an assistant hockey coach, a blogger — and an out, gay man.

No one bats an eye or treats me differently when they find out that, no, I actually don’t have a wife. That tall, handsome, man I live with, he’s my husband and papa to our kids — and I love him dearly.

Oh… and the choice of color we selected for the car?

While there was a part of me who really wanted to choose pink… driving a fast robot police sports car is cool, too. Plus, it looks pretty awesome parked in our driveway beside the even cooler mini-van.

Tom Bosworth: British Olympics hopeful comes out as gay

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Tom Bosworth and Mo Farah

13 October 2015Last updated at 09:15

Race walker Tom Bosworth competed for Great Britain at the World Athletics Championships, is set to feature at the Rio Olympics and is the first athlete on the team to come out as gay.

Here the 25-year-old talks about how his head was smashed through a window because of his sexuality and why he revealed the news, on the Victoria Derbyshire show.

Coming out is no surprise to my friends, family and even team-mates, even Mo Farah who didn’t bat an eyelid when I told him I was gay.

I got to know him and others on the Great Britain endurance team prior to the World Athletics Championships in August after we spent a few weeks on a pre-training camp in Japan.

It was a great chance to talk about it in a relaxed environment and everyone was very supportive of me being the first openly gay athlete on the GB team.

But there were some interesting questions when I told them about my circumstances.

GB athlete Bosworth comes out as gay

My team-mates asked whether I had a partner and how old I was when I came out. They were intrigued by my sexuality and asked me whether I got any stick for being openly homosexual.

The truth is that I used to. When I was competing in local athletics a number of years ago, some other athletes called me ‘fag’ or ‘queer’.

And when I was at school, when those feelings were still developing, I had my head smashed through a window by a group of boys. Thankfully, that’s all in the past now.

Whilst my current team-mates were interested to talk about my sexuality, they soon realised there was nothing to be concerned about and all was perfectly normal. It was great that everyone could be themselves as the pressure built in camp before a major championships.

It shows you that if someone of Mo’s stature can be supportive then there should be no issues from others.

Who is Tom Bosworth?

Born: Sevenoaks, Kent, 1990
Trains at the National Race Walking Centre in Leeds
Britain’s number one race walker over 20km, and third-fastest in history
Was 12th at 2014 European Championships; 24th at 2015 World Championships
Has a degree in sports performance and is a qualified trampoline coach and sports masseur
Tom Bosworth

Tom Bosworth has been in a gay relationship for four and a half years

‘My head was smashed through a window at school’

I wish that all athletes from my past had been as positive as Mo.

About four or five years ago, some former athletes in local athletics would verbally abuse me. It was pretty nasty, and made worse by the fact they found it funny. Thankfully, they were in the minority.

In the end, I just ignored them. I realised they had no positive part to play in my life and fortunately I had enough people around me who I could rely on for support.

Sometimes, you have to be a bit thick-skinned about it all and I learned that lesson, sometimes literally, in school.

When I was 15 or 16, I thought I was gay and somehow word got around in school, leading to a really difficult period in my life. Teenagers can be really nasty and half the time they don’t even realise what they’re saying. It’s just ignorance, I guess.

A group of lads used to gang up on me and the worst episode came when they smashed my head through a window after a run-in. I decided not to tell anyone about it, so my parents or teachers didn’t know. I guess I was more worried about people blaming me than the students but I had the support of my friends to get me through that tough time.

It was a decade ago, so I’d like to think that things have moved on a lot since then, even in schools, and that kids are more tolerant these days.

That experience taught me to ignore lone voices. I know there will always be people who have a problem with my sexuality, but one person’s opinion doesn’t affect me now, as I have support from my parents and partner.

I’m not even sure I can change the opinions of those boys. All I want to do is give a positive message that you can succeed in sport whatever your background. Be it gay, straight, black, white, religious or non-religious – there are no barriers.

High-profile gay sports men and women

Former Aston Villa footballer Thomas Hitzlsperger
British Commonwealth champion diver Tom Daley
England women’s footballer Casey Stoney
Former Wales rugby union player Gareth Thomas
Former Olympic champion swimmer Ian Thorpe

‘Some might see being gay as a weakness’

Coming out is not going to change my life on a personal level.

I’ve been comfortable with my sexuality and in a really happy relationship for the past four and a half years but in the build-up to the Rio Olympics next year, I don’t want this news to become a distraction or affect those closest to me.

That’s why I want to speak publicly about being gay now.

It’s a big decision for me and a little scary what the reaction might be, but I do think that attitudes are changing. Tom Daley’s decision to come out in December 2013 was a huge step in the right direction, paving the way for others to follow suit.

Unfortunately, speaking out about this as a sportsperson is still news.

In any line of work, whether you are a teacher or working in an office, it’s normal to have a gay colleague but in sport, we are lagging behind.

That’s a real shame and I’m not sure why that is because this summer has opened my eyes as to how supportive everyone in athletics really is.

A lot of sport is about giving the appearance that you are strong, that you have no weaknesses that rivals can prey on.

So perhaps there are people who feel that homosexuality is seen as a weakness, maybe even by those who are gay, as it may give others a chance to attack them. By hiding it, they might feel like they are protecting themselves.

But I guess it could also hinder their sporting performance. By keeping your true self a secret, it could play on your mind and for any athlete that could turn into a distraction.

I can only speak from my experience but I found it a relief to be open with my friends, family and team-mates. It made me feel comfortable not having that cloud over me, the feeling that you are covering things up.

I just hope that the more sportsmen and sportswomen who come out, the more sport will catch up with the real world.

Hopefully in two or three years’ time, coming out won’t be a news story.